In a state of self-reflection, I had placed myself on the precipice of self-loathing. Though the intention was to review and learn from my missteps, my initial perspective held them as mistakes. About to hurl myself down the rabbit hole, Spirit made the above statement.
“Forgive yourself forward.”
As though I was stopped from taking a running leap, I was lovingly told to take a seat. “Stop. Sit down, settle in.” Messages from Spirit often speak on how practicing self-love and self-acceptance in the now is essential to cultivating love, acceptance and appreciation for our future selves. What we do now pays it forward. How we think and feel about ourselves today determines how we think and feel about ourselves tomorrow and then.
Our culture has conditioned us to believe that we’re not enough and won’t be enough unless we do more than enough. This conditioning has us steeped in shame, always with a half empty cup, resulting in a continual manifestation of “not being enough”. This rhetoric programming is something I continuously and consciously work to overwrite every day and I lemme tell you, it is constant challenge.
It occurred to me one day as I stared at my reflection, if I didn’t began to practice self-love, whatever my “end goal” was, loving myself would not magically begin and suddenly pour through me. It simply wouldn’t ever be. The moment was so serene and sad, to realize I didn’t love myself then and because I didn’t, it could mean I never would learn to. I had to veer myself away from the shadow mantra of, “once I am a certain way (that I think I should be), I will be able to love myself. Then I will be worthy.” I began to see the various milestones in which I had never “rewarded” myself with the self-love promised.
So, from that moment forward, I began the earnest practice of self-acceptance through self-nourishing practices; thoughts, things and actions that made me feel good in the now.
Self-love, self-acceptance and self-care does not suddenly materialize through your being when you “finally get there”, wherever “there” is for you. It will always be further down the road; the carrot at the end of the stick, you chasing your tail. Self-forgiveness is a value that must also be woven into your life tapestry. Self-forgiveness must also be practiced now. Whether you are looking back at yourself or looking forward, just like self-love, self-forgiveness also needs to be paid forward. Without it we fall into life-paralysis, afraid to take chances for fear of making mistakes, being exposed, abandoned….
I am not discouraging accountability. No, in fact, accountability is essential. It serves us to take an honest look at ourselves in order to reflect and learn. Recognizing that mistakes are stepping stones builds resilience and fosters a foundation upon which we can grow compassionately. Self-compassion is like the mortar that glues each stone together. When you can experience self-compassion and self-forgiveness it is easier to look upon your actions and words and recognize when you need to apologize and to forgive, whether it be yourself or another being.
When those moments of shame strike, create a circuit of self-awareness through your body, breath and mind with the following practice.
Plant your feet upon a surface. Feel the weight of your body all the way down through your legs and feet. Take a few deep breaths and soften your belly. Bring your hands together in front of your heart and rest your forehead upon the steeple of your hands. Close your eyes and allow the weight of your head to rest on the support of your hands and arms. The gentle pressure upon your forehead can be an invitation to let go. Feel your emotions, sink into your body and breath awareness. Just be.
The practice of bowing our head is symbolic of surrendering our Ego. The Ego must be shifted out of the way for us to drop down into our heart to access our ancient wisdom and compassion. This practice can become a powerful way to anchor yourself so that you can move forward with perspective and not be reactive out of guilt or fear. And, it only takes a few moments.
Self-forgiveness is a continual process that is powerful for our self-care and to our personal growth. Each step towards it is an essential part of the journey of your individual evolution. At its core, self-forgiveness empowers us to move forward with self-compassion, enabling us to embrace and celebrate our inherent worthiness.
We are made to dance with life; not to stand still. We’re organic creatures made to move about, explore, expound, learn, grow, evolve. Trust that you’re showing up the best that you can. It does not help us to withhold self love and forgiveness as a way to either punish or correct ourselves into possible perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist. Forgive yourself.
We’re all going to make blunders, boo-boo’s, oopsies but it is not because we’re failures. We’re simply human. Forgive yourself forward just as you love yourself forward.
Tania Isaac is an experienced Spiritual Guidance Channeler, Pet Communicator, Integrative Energy Healer and certified yoga instructor who specializes in blending healing modalities to create unique healing sessions. She is located in Santa Barbara, CA where she lives with her husband and their rescued dog Oreo. Her mission is to empower empaths and help individuals connect with their innate metaphysical and healing abilities. Visit her website to learn more about her offerings: www.taniaisaac.com