HOW HUGS HEAL - ALLOWING OURSELVES TO BE HELD
One of the last remaining matriarchs on my mother's side of the family passed away recently. She was in her nineties - had lived a long life, raised five children, had 30 grandchildren with great grandchildren already in the flock. Everyone knew her time was coming but we all know that Knowing does not lessen anyone’s heartache automatically.
My husband and I drove down to Los Angeles for the funeral services. Tears and laughter flowed due to the various words that were said about my aunt; everything everyone said rang true about her - to all of us that knew her. It felt good to have known her - to remember her.
My mother’s side of the family are huggers; it’s how you say hello and goodbye and it can be rather awkward when you avoid them. Seriously.
Despite this tradition, I was still pleasantly surprised how light I felt at the end of the day because of all the hugs I shared. I must have hugged one particular cousin five times. I will not lie - all the hugs felt so good! Perhaps it is the familiar embrace of a family member, the tightness in which they hold you close and you them, even for a moment. Hugs matter; hugs heal.
Science tells us that hugs do more than comfort our hearts. A sustained embrace can calm the nervous system, reduce stress hormones, release oxytocin, and activate the vagus nerve - the body's natural pathway to rest, connection, and healing. In other words, our bodies are designed to receive comfort from one another.
The only roadblock to hugs are one’s individual ability to allow them. Some people are not raised in a hugging family - so I understand the practice of them may feel awkward, even invasive. Some people have experienced physical trauma so hugs are not a safe space.
You can create the act of a hug with yourself, for yourself. Hidden beneath the sternum is a remarkably sensitive area of the body that responds to gentle pressure and touch.
Holding a firm pillow to your chest, gently tapping on your sternum and even humming can all activate this sensitive area. I like to think of it as a little magic button built into each of us.
Perhaps that is why hugs matter.
Not because they solve our grief or erase our pain, but because they remind us that we do not have to carry either alone.
Healing often begins the moment we allow ourselves to be held - by a friend, a family member, a beloved pet, our community, or even our own compassionate presence.
Sometimes liberation is not found in letting go.
Sometimes it is found in allowing ourselves to receive.
About Tania
Tania Isaac is an Intuitive Guide and Integrative Energy Healer based in Santa Barbara, California. Through Spirit Sessions, Soul Rejuvenation, Synergy Healing, Pet Communication, and yoga, she gently supports others in reconnecting with themselves through healing, clarity, and meaningful connection.
Her work is rooted in the belief that our deepest healing does not come from becoming someone new, but from remembering who we have always been. By weaving together intuition, energy healing, compassionate presence, and embodied practices, Tania creates personalized experiences that honor each person's unique path.
When she's not working with clients, you'll often find her writing Love Notes, spending time in nature, or enjoying life with her husband and their beloved rescue dog, Oreo.
Learn more about her offerings at www.taniaisaac.com.