Each October, I leave my laptop behind and take myself on a retreat. I carve out a few days to incubate in my favorite little town, Cambria, with no responsibilities to manage and no one to answer to. Only myself to meet.
My cherished ritual is to stroll Moonstone Beach. No matter the weather, I meander. I lose track of time, commune with Mother Gaia, and simply exist.
Every year, my footfalls are different. Sometimes they carry the weight of a burdened mind and heart; other times, they're light and lofty. I don't arrive with expectations. I simply experience myself as I am.
This year, however, I arrived carrying a couple of questions. One concerned my changing body and whether hormone replacement therapy might be something worth exploring as I navigate perimenopause. The other was a little more complicated. I hadn't been feeling particularly happy in my professional life, and I was beginning to question what that meant for my future.
I wasn't necessarily looking for answers. I simply needed some space to be with the questions.
My only other ritual is watching the sunset each evening. Beyond that, I let the days unfold as they will.
And this year, one of those evenings brought an unexpected gift: a few glasses of wine and a conversation with two women who would become my guiding angels.
They came into the wine bar with this wonderful energy—an energy that vibed with "We're going to enjoy life!"
We sat together and shared the usual stories. Where are you from? How long are you here? Where are you staying? What's your favorite restaurant in town?
I learned these two ladies had met through a widows' club and, through that connection, formed a beautiful bond.
As I listened to their stories, I couldn't help but notice how radiant they both were. They had a glow about them. Their skin was beautiful, their smiles big, their laughter hearty, and their energy infectious.
Then they surprised me by sharing their ages. One was ninety and the other was in her mid-eighties.
I couldn't believe it!
Naturally, I had to ask, "What are you both doing to look and feel this great?"
In perfect unison, they answered, "HRT!"
I burst out laughing. We'd just been talking about perimenopause, so their response couldn't have been more perfectly timed. They explained that they'd both used hormone replacement therapy during menopause, although neither was taking it now.
Then one of them added, "Happiness. Life is for being happy. It doesn't matter what you do for a living, as long as you're happy."
In that moment, time stood still.
Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the sunshine. But for a few seconds, I saw them both as holograms.
On one level, I saw the two women sitting before me, their physical presence as clear as ever. Yet behind them, I could see their energies glowing, radiant and pulsating.
And I knew, right then and there, that these two women had appeared in my life for a reason.
Two questions I'd been carrying. Two answers delivered over a few glasses of wine.
HRT. Happiness.
One spoke to my changing body. The other, to something much deeper within me.
Neither woman knew what I'd been wrestling with. Yet somehow, they'd spoken directly to both.
These were spirit guides sent to answer my questions.
Magic.
The knowingness was so strong, so intense, that on my stroll back to the hotel, I began to cry.
A good, deep, overdue cry. But these were tears of pure joy and love.
Sometimes the intensity of Spirit and what is revealed to us can only result in tears. Perhaps because our bodies and minds simply don't know how else to process something so profound.
I hoped no one heard me, but I'm sure the wind carried my sobs.
And while it occurred to me that someone nearby might be wondering what crazy woman was bawling her eyes out, I sauntered on in my knowingness.
Spirit had spoken.
Of course, receiving guidance and knowing what to do with it are two very different things.
I can explore whether HRT is right for me. That's a conversation worth having with my healthcare provider.
But happiness? That's a conversation I need to continue having with myself.
Because recognizing that something in our lives no longer brings us joy is one thing. Finding the courage to do something about it is another.
I'm still figuring that part out.
One footfall at a time.
About Tania
Tania Isaac is an Intuitive Guide and Integrative Energy Healer based in Santa Barbara, California. Through Spirit Sessions, Soul Rejuvenation, Synergy Healing, Pet Communication, and yoga, she gently supports others in reconnecting with themselves through healing, clarity, and meaningful connection.
Her work is rooted in the belief that our deepest healing does not come from becoming someone new, but from remembering who we have always been. By weaving together intuition, energy healing, compassionate presence, and embodied practices, Tania creates personalized experiences that honor each person's unique path.
When she's not working with clients, you'll often find her writing Love Notes, spending time in nature, or enjoying life with her husband and their beloved rescue dog, Oreo.
Learn more about her offerings at www.taniaisaac.com.